After great pain a formal feeling comes—
formal feeling
Not 'sad' or 'numb'—**formal**, like following protocol at a funeral. The body goes through motions without meaning.
was it He
Christ on the cross, but the question mark matters—grief so deep you can't tell your pain from his. Time collapses.
Ought
Capitalized abstraction among concrete words. Walking through duty itself, not a place. Philosophy replaces geography.
quartz contentment
Mineral, not emotional. Contentment here means stopped feeling, crystallized into hardness. The opposite of peace.
if outlived
You only remember freezing to death if you survived. The poem's central conditional—some pain kills before memory forms.
letting go
Death's three stages from hypothermia: shivering stops, consciousness fades, surrender. She knew the medical progression.